Our children are never learning how to play.  This tech driven modern era is robbing our children of opportunities to learn through play. Play is how our children learn to participate in our world.  Sadly, young children do not efficiently learn this through watching others demonstrating “life” through a screen.  Increased screen time is directly correlated with decreased attention span, sleep, language development, reading skills, empathy, and short-term memory.

Young children should be able to play anywhere. They should be able to find a rock, a leaf, crayon with paper, and ants crawling on a side walk as fascinating and interesting. Repetitive exposure to screens resets the brain to find these things much less interesting than abrupt sounds and rapidly changing scenes and movement they visualize on the screen.  Before you know it, your child doesn’t know how to go outside and play on their own.  They don’t know what to do with an action figure or baby doll for more than a few minutes.  They seem helpless, bored, aggressive, and distraught when you take their tablet away.  A child who can “play” anywhere is more content and often better behaved. They can go to a restaurant and play quietly with a straw wrapper or enjoy watching the expressions of people sitting around them.  They don’t need something or someone else to provide them with constant over-stimulation and excitement that a tech addicted child seems to require. 

Children learn better when they have time to process what they are hearing or seeing and most content children are exposed to on screens don’t give them this time.  In fact, if you compare early children’s learning programming such as Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood to “children’s” videos on YouTube or modern kid cartoons, you will immediately notice the striking differences.  Our modern children are assaulted with loud noises, flashing scenes, and very bright colors and conditioned to not enjoy anything less “stimulating.”.  We are allowing our children to be consumed by tech addiction fueled by the entertainment business for profit at the cost of their ability to contently function in society.  I would recommend reading to children if they need time to sit down and relax. 

I strongly recommend very little screen time for children under 3 years old.  I would say none, but that is likely unrealistic in today’s society with screens around every corner. It will take more energy/time as a parent to redirect a bored toddler than to hand them a phone, but in the long run these children will be able to entertain themselves for much longer periods of time without experiencing all the above mentioned developmentally regressive side effects. They will likely be children who others view as well behaved and engaging as they aren’t constantly preoccupied with seeking unhealthy stimulation.  You will recognize their growing intelligence in their curiosity and creativity.  It is much easier to never start tech with young children then to take it away; this is how you know it is an addiction.  

For children 3-5 years old screen time should be limited to less than 1 hour per day. We need to monitor the type of programming they watch as well, and make sure it gives them time to process the content and doesn’t assault their senses.  As parents we must demonstrate appropriate screen time use ourselves. Be aware of how often your child sees you on your phone. Try to refrain from using your phone while playing with them or sharing meals.  If you need to use your phone for productive reasons explain to your child why you need to use it: “mommy has to answer a letter from work or your teacher needs me to fill out a form for your school fieldtrip.” This way they will view technology as a means to an end or a tool, and not a basic need such as eating, receiving affection, and sleeping.  

Many of us have heard the critically important tales of our parents and grandparents about playing with a rock in the street, building sheet forts in the living room, finding 100 ways to play with a cardboard box, or playing hopscotch for hours. Maybe we are fortunate to remember some of those days in our own childhood.  Encourage your children to live those tales.  Those days don’t have to be over if we can just take the tech away from our babies.  We could have a new generation that can eat out at a restaurant and not see anyone with a phone in their hands and be simply enjoying each other’s company.  This isn’t going to be easy and believe me I have made my mistakes and continue to do so, but the futures of our children are more than worth it.